So it's been a while hasn't it? I can't seem to keep the habit of maintaining this space and for that I apologize. Especially to those of you who look forward to reading my random musings. (tho I doubt that there are any who do haha)
After this long silence it is no surprise that a LOT has been going on in my life. So much that I wouldn't know where to start. I came here several times to write but ended up just staring at the screen.
I wish I had come by in August to tell you that the most surprising thing happened to me. Well if I asked for it, it wouldn't have come as a surprise. But because I was so certain that I would never get the transfer that I asked for last year in December that when the official letter came out to say that I did, I was beyond surprise. I was shocked and saddened. I wanted to tell them I had changed my mind. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go.
Leaving sucked. Telling my students goodbye was painful. Hearing my friends tell me they didn't want me to leave was heartbreaking. In short, it was surreal. It was the most difficult thing I had to do but it was what I had chosen for the sake of my family. To be closer. To work closer.
I left KMB on the 21st of August, in tears, tears which I held back until I was in the car driving home. I was still crying when I started work on the 24th of August and the tears kept coming whenever I thought of everything I had left, my happy place, my friends, my students, my life, my soul. Pathetic really. I'd cry on the train, in the car and even at the office.
I was in a new place, with new faces to get to know, some old faces to be reacquainted with again and work that was different. But I pulled through I suppose, found things that made me happy, pretended to understand by nodding and smiling when I didn't quite understand things. To this day, I think I still do that haha.
So it's December now but the CMCO has meant coming to work sparingly since October so.. me the new kid on the block still feels like I haven't yet fully taken in my new job, there are people I still don't remember their names and I have yet to feel like I belong there.
On a positive note, I am no longer crying, though I miss teaching I am getting the hang of some things I have to do. And I have made friends and they are not bad..
Yet when people ask me now what I work as, I almost want to mention that I was a teacher before telling them what I actually am now- an officer at the curriculum division.. different title and direction but still in the same line of work.. Not a title I am proud to announce but it is what it is.
Some students are still writing to me and keeping in touch. I'm glad I got to teach that batch even if for only less than 2 months. But they loved me in such a short time and isn't that just a great feeling? That's one thing I know I won't ever get anymore but after 21 years of teaching I suppose I have had enough of all that, right?
Life goes on. And it is going on. I remember my past and though I wish I still had that past I am trying my best to embrace my present and to look forward to my future. Pray for me!
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