Skip to main content

Maybe


Today was a good day at school. In the usual fashion of teachers day celebrations, we teachers were put up on a pedestal and appreciated.. There were tears (from some including moi) during the speech by our deputy head - she always gives a killer speech - and then there was laughter and excitement during our performances! This time round all departments braved themselves to stage a show. Was fun! I think we're naturals.. haha. Not forgetting the cupcakes and hand made cards.. best part ever :)
In short, I think we made the students' day.

Picking up from what was mentioned in the speech was something that went like this: `teachers at *** don't breathe oxygen but it is the students who become the air they breathe'.. Wow. Really? Like really, really?.. Erm.. I suppose it is partly true. The moment you get to the college, the life you're leading there revolves around them. Teaching them, assessing them, scolding them, advising them, cheering them on, writing about them, talking about them... it's really an endless list. And that is simply the life we lead almost everyday from 8.00 to 5.00.. (some days 4..). And that is the life I have always cherished and loved.

Which is why I surprised myself when about 2 months ago I started imagining a life that involved me leaving this `teaching life' I've been leading for almost 16 years. Stemmed by a lot of reasons, one being getting to spend more time with you my dear, I played around with the idea. I imagined a much `freer' life with no punch clocks, no long drives back from work (since we have to go back late these days I get stuck in traffic jams!! ), no meetings, more time for you, more time for me, doing `other things' besides teaching i.e working from home.. etc...

Then I also had a moment of `clarity' and thought about how silly the idea would be to leave. To leave something I'm passionate about. Something I'm good at.. I thought about what it would feel to get out of the comfort zone I'm in. And go to a less `comfortable' place.. or maybe even a more comfortable place. And I thought, could I go through it? Would I eventually do it?

I don't have the answers yet. Maybe I just have to do it to find out. Maybe.

May Allah guide your Mama to the right path..

Till next time.  XOXO

ps/ you telling me a lot lately that you like it when I stay at home and not go to work adds on the pressure!.. :D


pss/ omg! After I wrote this post, I went browsing through my older posts, and discovered I actually wrote about this same topic 3 years ago.. lol.. Maybe I'm just going through a phase.. maybe.. arrgh!




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

a sight for sore eyes

Seven years ago we made a decision that changed our lives. My husband and I took in ( bought ) a 2 month old cat (from Penang) who at that time was a tiny one and could fit into my husband's pocket shirt. We named him Woody because of his colour and we never looked back. Since then we've breeded 10 of Woody's offsprings and 5 grandchildren. After several deaths, a disappearance and some giving away, only 6 remain with us. And they are indeed a sight for sore eyes, a source of comfort and joy and above all, our children . Can't imagine life without them.

what colour are you?

Am once again surrounded by the chaos and craziness of my working world. And I haven't even started teaching yet! One thing I often get to do when I'm at work is shop! There's always something for everybody whenever someone starts selling. In my defense, it saves me time from having to go to a shop myself.. and if i can get quality goods at affordable prices (pay 2,3 times.. haha), why not? Today it was batik. And being around colleagues who watch what we wear day in and day out.. everyone seems to know what colour would suit which person. I was no exception.. Once again, I didn't surprise anyone and chose material with the same colour I always choose. Which got strong reactions from my dear observant friends. So, I decided to try listening to everybody's protests and tried hard to find something that wasn't me . I wanted to embrace the challenge of wearing something different. Getting out of my comfort zone. But then I wondered, why would I want to be not me ...

a note before midnight

It's the end of June.. soon it will be July - my favourite month ;) Significant things are happening in July. Results. Decisions to be made. New students, new class, new people to break my heart.. Anyway, it didn't work. My time off. Remind me not to have any time off from the world wide web cuz it'll never work. Can't be separated. Today was not a good day. I need to get my eyes checked cuz my lack of power which I never knew, is giving me terrible headaches and I couldn't see the writing on the mahjong papers my students presented today :( and my power is already 600!! :(( Ok.. gotta go battle with my cat and shove a pill down her throat. Please cooperate. If you're interested: sher127.tumblr.com goodnight readers of my blog..