Musings

Currently in a city in the east coast attending an engagement and a wedding -of the same person. Since we got here it has been raining continuously; something which is common this time of the year. So it looks pretty gloomy -like winter minus the freezing cold air.. But still the rain has not dampened the mood of the guests who have come to celebrate/ support the joyous occasion. I suppose it is a pretty significant date to choose to be married on the 1st day of the year. New year, new beginnings. New life. Yet in actual fact you can make ANY day significant. You can start anew at any given date. There shouldn't be a reason to wait, really. Cuz you and I know we may not have much time left on this earth of ours. At 35 years old, after 19 years of smoking, someone dear to me finally decided to quit smoking. It's been over a month and he's still going strong. (God, please let him quit for good..) After 10 years of a childless marriage, a couple I know decided just yesterday ...

Am sipping latte at the level 2 food court of klcc. Arrived here just before the crowd pulled in. My quiet breakfast is no more. Apart from me there are others too who are also eating alone.. I'm ok with that.. there are times when you should be alone without company. Lets you gather your thoughts better I guess.. Ok, clearly I'm bored- waiting for a friend.. And now I have to go clean my tudung after spilling my food just now as I was attending to my mobile facebook.. :p

I just met him. LOL. Some students told me about it once but only today out of sheer boredom I came across it on you tube and decided to watch it. Only saw the one vid with the Jalapeno.. made me laugh and thus clear away some blues of mine. Why am I blue? Can't answer that cuz I don't know.. (i think..) Ever watched `Legends of The Fall'? Brad Pitt was in it (*sigh..) He played one of the sons of Anthony Hopkins.. Falls in love with the same girl his brothers do too - Susannah. She gets engaged to one of them (not him) who gets killed in the war. So with him out of the picture she eventually falls into Tristan's arms (Brad Pitt)- the favourite son, after the fiance's death. To add to the drama, being the `free spirit' of the family, Tristan decides to go on a journey and goes away leaving Susannah behind for a long time.. So she ends up marrying the other remaining brother, while still pining for Tristan.. To cut a long story short.. Tristan returns from his lo...

You never really forget things at all sometimes. What happens is just that you push a memory away from you, bury it somewhere you wish you'd never find again and then one day, bam! It hits you from nowhere and things come flushing in. You can't stop it. You suddenly remember. And then you realize that you've never really forgotten. The memory has just been dormant and shrunk into size. But it's still there. A shrunken memory..

Two days ago I attended the most anticipated event of the month. My secondary school reunion! From 100 students or so in our batch, around 40 plus of us made it. Not bad.. If you refer to a previous post, I did not manage to lose much weight before the event.. (Only about 1 kilo).. Plus that was the day I was having skin `issues'.. after trying to get rid of some spots a few days before, they remained on my cheek till that night :p Aside from that, I did not regret going at all. Even though I did not remember half of the boys.. oops men, (and one or 2 girls) who came. Even though at one point it felt like school days once more when each gender shied away from the other. Even though I could not eat much as I suddenly got all flustered and giddy trying to talk to everyone at once. Even though I did not get to speak to every one of them. Even though I felt upset when some didn't remember me - their own classmate/ homeroomate! You'd think everyone would have changed.. well, no...

Two piles I am aiming to finish this holiday. Only one pile is being given attention.. It's obvious which one I think :) Can't get rid of the habit of buying books when one isn't even finished.. I think among the pile is about 4 books I've started on but not finished reading.. The other pile.. well, I did start on it - BEFORE the hols.. and that was it. Will start on it again very very soon.. ;) But this one I must always make sure I find time to read too. Because sometimes I forget.. Knowing very well that it is the ultimate guide to one's life.. Allah forgive me.. Sebagaimana riwayat Abu Umamah yang maksudnya: “Aku pernah mendengar Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam bersabda: “Bacalah oleh kamu al-Qur’an, sesungguhnya (al-Qur’an) itu datang pada hari qiamat menjadi syafaat kepada pembacanya.” (Hadis riwayat Muslim) I hope that it's not because I am `free' this holiday that I will be giving time to reading the Quran but that it will be a common...

January 2009 was when this blog first came to be. I wanted to try and see what it was all about - wrote about it in my first entry. Was just reading my previous posts of last year and I think it mostly was a little emotional ;) Many big things happened anyway so I guess that was inevitable. I was not into `advertising' my blog too so that meant.. out of the 20 posts I wrote there were like 5 comments altogether I think.. It's ok, the writing part for me was more important than getting the responses. (plus only one or 2 people knew about it..) 2010 = 44 posts so far.. and almost every month.. and more than once in a month too! And a number of comments = like! I think it's because I now understand how blogs are like - after reading several blogs which inspire and fascinate me. Writing is not a problem still, getting the responses is a bonus and now, exchanging knowledge and learning from what you write and read is the most valuable part.. So bloggers, let's continue doing...

After a recent outstation trip to hubby's hometown I think I have returned with a little extra fat on me. Feel `lumpy' and heavy.. yucks ;p Why is it that holidays always does that to people? You get together and buy food (you can't find where you're staying), you gather round the table and chat, laugh and eat and eat and eat.. Somehow food tastes hundred times better when you're eating it with company. Good company. Not only that, it's hard to say no when people start cooking for you and presenting you with all sorts of food.. and that's only breakfast! Oh well.. to the gym I must head - more than usual.. This worry I have on me now is also cuz I have a secondary school reunion to attend in about 3 days! Help! Ok, am not really bothered about looking `wider' than I was say..20 years ago - the duration of time I have not seen most of those people.., but also cuz despite my shortcomings I will be bringing with me - married but with no children.. I just ba...

I think I'm one of those people who rarely get sick, praise be to Allah for that. Yet when I do fall sick, it happens usually during the weekends or a long holiday like right now. Mind over matter. That's what I tell myself when I refuse to give in to my `helpless' condition.. If not I'd not be able to get things done. Yet of course our body needs to rest. Needs to heal. So rest we must.. and with that, I bid farewell for a while until I get back to my normal self. Abdullah r.a berkata, Rasulullah bersabda: “ tidak ada seorang muslim yang ditimpa cubaan berupa sakit dan sebagainya melainkan dihapuskan Allah taala dosa-dosanya seperti pohon kayu menggugurkan daunnya.” God willing.

1 Muharram 1432H a new day. a new year. Happy New Year! A time to: Reflect on past behaviours and seek better ways to be better.. =)

Am sitting in front of my sister's laptop at my parents' house. Blessed am I that my parents live only about 30 minutes away from my place (20 on days with less traffic). This means I should have no excuse not to see them. Once a week. That's the most I can do actually, which is good enough. Decided to sleep over here last night since I missed seeing them last week. Kinda like catching up on lost time. :) A good idea I must say cuz so far we've had dinner and breakfast together.. after this, lunch! No matter how old you get, going back to your home that once was.. is still the ultimate joy. Having had the privilege of being raised in several homes, I will always remember the places I grew up in. Passed one of those places yesterday and it brought me back to a time when I was carefree and well.. young! Kinda feel sad that the house where I was born in has been sold- my grandmother's house. I guess when my late grandma started living with her children, no one was able...

As one who teaches English, I try to avoid speaking in Malay with students. I would say that 99.9% of the time, English is used in any lesson or conversation. It should be 100%, really. On VERY rare occasions I use Malay, purposefully, to get a point across, and this in turn leads to peals of laughter from students. Somehow that makes me feel embarassed. Like I've done something wrong. Or funny. Not. But hey, I can speak in Malay of course, and they must surely know that that's the lingo used when not in teaching mode... Anyway, as English has been such a big part in my life.. (I was already speaking fluent English since I was 4 and with a hint of British accent too!) and has been the reason why I went into teaching, I sometimes feel guilty of not enriching my Bahasa as well. I have not read a Malay novel since Form 5, I think! I read English newspapers. Listen to English speaking radio channels. Watch English movies. Buy English novels. Even cook western food more than Malaysi...