Musings

another batch to say goodbye to.. at least this time round I was around when they came by. plus this time there was a free flow of food so it felt like we were entertaining guests..;) it should be sthg you get used to but as a teacher there is still that feeling of sorrow to let go of your students. hanging out with some of 'em just now and watching a movie together made me happy and somehow made it a bit worse.. suddenly felt sadder. funny huh. Every story has an end, but in life every end is just a new beginning.. I know its a new beginning for them after this, after the results come out that is. And it's another new beginning for me too - to get all worked up over another batch! Still, as usual, will miss them dearly and feel their absence when I come back to school in another 3 weeks.. :(

I once told my mum I wanted to live with her when I got married. This was probably 10-15 years ago.. Now after 10 years of marriage it seems that that was all talk.. :( Up until now my life has evolved around me living far away from my parents in a succession of places.. It all started at age 13 when I started boarding school for 5 years - 3 in Taiping and 2 in Muar, then 6 years in the UK getting my degree.. then another 6 years working up north first then to the east coast.. That makes a total of 17 years away!!! OMG! Of course we met, I came back for hols and they visited.. so we weren't away from each other totally.. But still, to think that I spent so much time being `Ms Independent'.. no wonder I now crave spending time with them all whenever I can.. Like recently when Ma slept over for the weekend, I felt that that was one of those rare moments where we got to just hang out- in the kitchen and talk.. and also be a little pampered.. Haha.. still not too old for that! Wel...

Have had to say a few goodbyes lately and in the usual fashion of saying a goodbye, tears accompanied it too.. Wonder why people start crying seeing other people cry? Always happens to me.. And why is it that people mean more to you when you know they're leaving?.. It's as if you suddenly realise what they meant to you all this while. Sometimes there's also that feeling of regret that you didn't really take the time to get to know them and now that they're gone there's no chance of that anymore.. It also takes guts to leave a place you consider your comfort zone and to move to more `greener pastures'.. Change is inevitable and one must be brave to move on and take up new challenges. That's what'll make your life more interesting right?.. I suppose what we leave behind is not all about what we did but also how we made other people feel. And that will be remembered most.